NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

DATE- 1^ST JAN 2010

TIME- 12:01 AM

PLACE- MY ROOM

‘What am I supposed to do?’ this is the question which is in my mind right now. I am kind of confused. People outside are enjoying, and I am sitting alone in my room listening to Yanni.

I am not an emotional fool, but I am not a person who is not emotional at all. The problem is I am very poor at understanding and expressing the feelings. You will never know when I am really happy and when I am not. I am a great actor, in real life, you will never find me sad, and I just don’t want to be sad. Life is too fucking short, and I just don’t want to waste it spending time thinking about all the bad things happening to me. I like to live life. But sometimes I am numb, but it’s not numb, I should rather say ‘comfortably numb’ like the famous Pink Floyd song like I am feeling right now. I know I will spend whole night thinking about various things and will not sleep at all. People ask me to see a doctor, but I can’t remember even a single case where someone died of insomnia, so I know I’ll never see a doctor for this. Also I love the silence and darkness of night, I love listening to soothing music in the darkness of night.

Right now millions of people are enjoying, partying, because it’s New Year, but I wonder what is new in New Year?, it comes after every one year. I am not against celebrations, like any religious political party, I am libertarian I believe in freedom. But I don’t understand why people celebrate? Wear good clothes, eat good food, meet good friends, spend time with people you care about the most, if this is celebration, I celebrate my life every single fucking day. Apart from that I do a lot of things which people don’t do even when they are celebrating.

I am a happy man, I may not have a fancy car, I may not have enough resources, I may not have true love in life, at times I may not have fucking money, but I still am a happy man, because I have a dream to fulfill, I have to get myself a fancy car, I have someone whom I love, I have to be rich, earn respect for my work and myself.

I have already got around 5-6 text messages on my cell phone, all saying ‘happy new year’. Yeahh man I am happy. I am happy for myself that I am alive and I have seen the year 2010. Isn’t that enough for a normal human being to be happy? Why do people want others to be happy when they themselves are really not? Listen guys I have a disease, I am allergic to fucking bullshits, so don’t play games in front of me, because I know what is going on in your mind right now, and what you think about me, what you want from me. And if you think that you are getting work done by me by fooling me, remember one thing, I never do anything for free, until I really want to do something for someone. Remember, if I am doing any of your work for free, it means that either I like you and want to help you or I want something from you, I don’t believe in charity. I am a greedy and mean person, I have got enough brains to fool a normal man, and I am proud of that.

People don’t understand me, they don’t take me seriously. Last time when I had proposed to a girl, it took me 3 hours to make her believe that I was not joking. I am not a funny guy; I just say serious shit which people don’t understand, and they think that I was the one joking, but in reality they are the ones laughing at themselves. Next time you listen to a joke of mine, first analyze it properly, what it means, it can be something serious, it can be a comment, or it can be a normal joke also. No I am not a comedian, I am not even a funny guy, but I don’t want to hurt anyone, therefore I say things in that manner, and sometimes I am just afraid of the response.

Now it’s around 2:15 am, and now I know what I have to do. I am not going to crack jokes anymore. People think that I am just another funny guy, now I am going to tell them how motherfucking serious I can be. This is my New Year resolution. No more funny business, it’s time for some serious shit.